First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
