If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize