the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
