im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I did not marry a roomba.
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