Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Apparently you make a good broom.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize