I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
