Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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