Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
