Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm at about main and main street
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
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