dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
