its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
