My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
