Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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