And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
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