I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
honey bunches of taint.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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