found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
