She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
