I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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