hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
They have beer where we have blood.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize