SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Someone came in the potted fern
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
