my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
