physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
