I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
