He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
