we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
