:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
