In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
