I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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