What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
