I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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