I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
