he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
God I need to hump something, right now.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
