I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
