would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
