My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize