Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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