You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
