Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just puked most of my soul out..
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
