As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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