happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i may or may not be watching the land before time
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
