I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
