SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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