It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
