like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
so let's talk penis.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize