Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
honey bunches of taint.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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