On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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