So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I will pee on everything he values.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
