dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
