Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
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