well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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