God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
