we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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