we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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