Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
it wasn't lemon gatorade
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
