Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
