Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
